


"I didn't mean it like that."

by xiewoo (xiearf)



Series: Angsty November [4]
Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: (or some sort of that), Angst, Friends With Benefits, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 14:42:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12819759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiearf/pseuds/xiewoo
Summary: sunggyu wouldn't talk, and woohyun had it enough





	"I didn't mean it like that."

Instead of getting dressed up, Woohyun secures his towel tighter around his waist and leans against the doorframe, silently watching his companion for the day being immersed in a television show. He less expected anyone to drop by today, much less Sunggyu himself who shoved him against the wall right after he opened the door for him, kissing the remaining sleep out of him. They proceeded to the bed without words and Woohyun made a habit not to ask.

The afternoon is quite warm, despite the winter. Or it is Sunggyu who brought the warmth into his place. The man is a walking furnace. Always burning.

It’s another day off Woohyun planned to spend the rest of the day sleeping but Sunggyu came in an hour ago, made him all bothered and hot and threw sleep out of the window. How could he sleep now that _the_ Kim Sunggyu is in his house, lounging on his sofa watching some random English shows?

The man does not seem like himself today. Sunggyu is always the man who will give his all in every situation. Sex included. But Woohyun could feel something was absent during their intimate time earlier. Something is missing and he can’t put his head on it just yet.

“You’re going to catch cold if you don’t dress up soon.”

Woohyun cracks a smile and reels forward until he’s good to settle down beside the man on sofa, though he keeps a small distance between them. Too close, he’ll burn.

“You’re telling me or you’ll leave me wondering?”

Their eyes match for a second before Sunggyu runs his away. The older shrugs in short, definite reply. They both know Sunggyu won’t tell anything anyway. Woohyun is too used to feel upset. That is just the way Sunggyu is. The man is so full of unspoken words, inner thoughts and questioned actions.

Over two decades ago, Woohyun walked into a practice room and greeted by four strangers who introduced to be his possible future band mates. (With two additional members later on, they debuted as a boy group named Infinite.) Even then, Sunggyu was so full of secrets. They pointed him leader and he led, led and led them into success, until there was way up no more. Then they took their own way down, separately.

As the years passed, Woohyun learned to read him. Not what he is thinking, but what he has in his head. He could tell when Sunggyu wants all questions off, or when the man would like to be alone, or when something is bothering him – like he is right now, beside him.

“I can get some beer for us if you’d like.”

He hears the man takes a sharp inhale before slipping his fingers with his, lacing the digits together. Woohyun frowned. An upset Sunggyu will never say no to alcohol. “We have to talk, and I’d like to do it… while still sober.”

Something is definitely wrong with Sunggyu. Very, very wrong. For all of the countless times they sat down and talked, never once he saw Sunggyu being like this. He seems helpless, as if there is nothing in the world that can fix it, or fix him.

“My dad came to me last month.”

Woohyun knows, right then. He knows what’s coming, so he just sighs and pulls his hand away. Sunggyu freezes for a second, surprised with the withdrawal but decides to say nothing.

Their rendezvous is not a secret anymore. The news broke up around one year before Infinite disbandment. But not everyone of their contact is okay with the news. One that matters to Sunggyu the most is his father who never looks at him the same anymore. He skips family dinner and holiday celebrations. He makes it clear to his family – Sunggyu or him, but never both.

Woohyun has no idea when is the last time Sunggyu returned to Jeonju. Or the last time he met his mom, his sister and his nephew. It’s another thing that Sunggyu would not talk about.

There’s only one thing that can make the old Kim throw his ego away and ask Sunggyu to meet him.

“When will it be?”

“Late February.”

Woohyun swallows and tries not to let his emotion get to him. He’s stronger than this. “So, you initially came here to tell me that you’re getting married in three months but end up fucking me?”

“I didn’t mean it like that…”

“I know. It’s like what I am to you. I don’t mean anything but a fuck buddy to you. I don’t know why you bother coming here to tell me anyways.”

Sunggyu groans and makes a mess of his hair. Woohyun grips the sofa hard to stop his hands from tucking them back in place. Even at this time, during this type of conversation, after what he just heard and said. He’s always weak to Sunggyu. He’s a constant disappointment to himself.

“You know it’s not like that. You know you mean more than that to me.”

“Then what I am to you, Kim Sunggyu?”

No words come out. Only silence. That had been the answer whenever he asked him the question. Sunggyu was never able to give him an answer. Years of exchanging kisses and cuddles and so much more, Sunggyu still could not come out with a word to name Woohyun.

What’s more to expect.  

Woohyun heaves another sigh and stands up. He brings one hand up and points toward the door.

“Please see yourself out. I am going to get dressed up and I hope when I come out, I won’t see you here anymore. I wish I will never see you anymore.” When Sunggyu tries to say something, he quickly cut him off. “Go, now.”

He didn’t wait. Woohyun strides toward his bedroom and locks the door. He slides down onto the floor, knees up to his chest and unable to hold his tears. He cries and cries and cries. He closes his eyes and tries not to remember the broken look Sunggyu had when he said he didn’t want to see him anymore.

God knows how much he wants the man, for so long, he wants him and only him.

But it is not like that to Sunggyu. Woohyun is ready to go out and fight the world if it means that they can be together, but Sunggyu is a coward who keeps everything inside. He’ll be in closet forever if he could, if they didn’t get too wasted that night and found out kissing in an alleyway behind a bar. He’ll never steps forward.

Woohyun will.

He’ll walk away. It’s time. After twenty years holding onto him, he’s letting go.

He’s letting Sunggyu go.


End file.
